University, 51% of first-year university students found moving away from home a lot easier than they had first expected. It's common though: one in four students suffer. You are important and youll find people you click with, and in the mean time, Im a friend from a far. I just wish i was more happy at uni. I feel so out of place and my flat mates are completely lovely although I havent been able to muster up the courage to spend a night with them yet and its been a whole week. All my flat mates are nice and I go out with them and stuff but sometimes I feel like would they really care if I wasn't there? I am afraid. I felt so proud on graduation day because it wasn't an easy three years and you will too. Luckily my bf came up uni with me but I feel really bad for constantly clinging to him and feel Im not letting him get on with uni life for doing so. I typically fell into a pattern of partying and drinking in my first year at uni, feeling influenced in this crazy culture and taken advantage of, due to my caring, kind but naive nature. Reported in an insightful paper published by think-tank Social Market Foundation nearly 6% of university students drop out after their first year with 20 institutions reporting a figure of 10%. Reading this post has comforted me so much though, because I know its okay to be feeling this way and Im not actually the only one, which it terribly feels like. Most of my of my tutor group are older students so they commute or live in different halls and the overall 'experience' is making me want to drop out which is quite pathetic but I'm really not enjoying myself (not even the course) and I'm really homesick. I should have reset things, changed course and gone to a better hall of residence and started again. It might seem intimidating to join on your own but so many other people do and youll make friends in no time! there is nothing wrong with not enjoying your 'Cambridge experience'" . That was me all last year, I've never enjoyed University. But fortunately, most people have been supportive, even if they cant understand. The university Im at now is one of the best for my degree and the one back Home is quite far down the league tables but I wouldnt be made to do minor subjects and I feel Id be happier and work better. What to do eh! Help please :(. Having lived alone from 16 until university, this was the worst thing ever. Ive moved from a tiny homely village to Manchester. This figure is actually far lower than many other similar countries, including across Europe, the USA and . University was really difficult for me too I dropped out after a semester and restarted somewhere else a couple of years later, so I got through it.Law school, on the other hand, was the best time of my life (except for exams and student loans haha).So things will definitely improve. I knew no one by this point. I don't even want to attend my graduation I just want my damn certificate. I did manage to start a conversation as I was sitting next to this girl for a few hours but again I didnt even get her name and it didn't progress from there. The reality is that university is tough, and even if you are coping with your course workload, there are many other aspects of university that can make it an unpleasant experience. The only thing thats making me stay are my monthly expensive trips hope for the orthodontist over three days bathe five and my corse because thats what I want to do but otherwise I cant survive. All of my best friends seem to have really enjoyed their University experiences and I find it difficult to explain to them what a negative experience it has been for me. AsContent Editor for TopUniversities.com and TopMBA.com, Chloe createsand publishesa wide range of articles for universities and business schools across the world. Hey hun, I don't think I have experienced the "typical" uni experience either, although I can't say it was the same as yours either. Thank you for sharing your story! Repaying sfe overpayment after dropping out, Only way to get a flat/house in London is getting a partner or living with people, The Russell Group hurt/heal game (Part 5). I am also doing the same. I followed a friend here thinking it was a great idea. Thanks for writing this! Unfortunately, at university there is no "circle time" or "buddy scheme" to get to know your peers. It is good to get off to a winning start as now is the time to become immersed with your subject, and to clarify why you decided to study your particular area. When I left my full-time job as a teaching assistant, all my colleagues told me what an amazing life experience uni would be. Want more content like this Register for free site membership to get regular updates and your own personal content feed. Chat to other students here! Awkwardly, I basically broke down on one of my managers when I was doing a late shift. This is a great blog post. Mine was slightly different because I was depressed before I started uni and I intentionally moved away to go to uni to get away from some of the causal factors, namely my family and "friends". I cant lie, I was incredibly nervous to be moving into a new flat where everyone already knew each other but figured it couldnt be any worse. I did not have an adolescence due to an anxiety disorder so it was my hope to fix things at Uni. From early november i realised I wanted to drop out (its almost March now) and I'm still deciding on whether or not to actually move or not. Plus I don't talk to my new housemates because I don't go out because I don't drink, which seems to be the only way to bond with people my age these days. Read on for some tips on what you should do if youre not enjoying university. It's on my blog. Most of the time I just wanna quit uni and go back home. except ive told my family whove been very supportive, Id defo tell my family if i were you or atleast ur parents, theyre great help, id also recommend joining a sports club, i currently do kung fu, and altho i cant say i have proper friends there I can say that I have developed a bit of a passion for it, and that Im developing myself at uni outside of my course + it cures boredom : 3 hope this helps! Then, although I was going to uni locally in Liverpool, I took the attitude of obviously Im not living at home during uni, partaaaayyyy and moved my little self over into halls. I feel so not good enough since she dropped me. The Student Room, Get Revising and The Uni Guide are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd. Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members. Im only 4 weeks into my first year but seem to be struggling to make solid friends Its not for lack of trying, i just feel like everyone in my course has already made little cliques and I somehow missed out during the friendship group forming time I get homesick regularly as well which doesnt help. If you want to chat, you can always tweet me or something ! Thank you for this. The first thing to do once youve established that you arent really enjoying university is to try to figure out why that is. Thank you for writing this I'm having similar issues at uni and it's great to know I'm not the only one who feels like this. Its a great way to become more independent and youll start to feel more confident too. I am not friends with my flatmates so I never get out of my room unless I have a lecture. I hate university; I hate what it did to me. I started uni last year and was so excited about starting a new chapter and moving away from home but it was nothing like I anticipated. Moving into halls really wasn't a good choice for me but I wanted to be along with other students so I did it anyway. (Start typing, we will pick a forum for you), Taking a break or withdrawing from your course. I'd really appreciate any thoughts you have. Well, it's not guarenteed, but a degree's better than nothing, I think. If its early enough in the year, you might be able to switch without much hassle at all. Once youve isolated the problem, its easier to figure out how to fix it. Exact same situation. I am currently in my second year of Law. Today Im going to speak about something that has pretty much changed me completely in the last couple of years. Lots of universities have many great clubs and societies you can join. When i think about uni i feel anxious and scared and i don't know why. You are very much thrown in the deep . I wasnt getting on with my flat mates, I was struggling to make friends on my course and felt incredibly home sick, and if Im honest I would ring my boyfriend or my family crying almost every day. We are using cookies to give you the best experience on our website. Its amazing the impact this can have and you might find that before long you have much more energy and feel much happier. Speak to your university and find out if you can change your course and join another. This did not occur. For example, if youre only in your second week of your first year, and youre struggling to establish a friendship group, this is entirely normal. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE. If you want to change your accommodation, you can talk to your housing office on campus to see what options are available to you. Im in my first year of uni and I live in student halls (I dont have a choice anyways bcz I live abroad). If youre in first year, generally give it at least until Christmas before you consider leaving. I'll send the link if you want it. I wouldn't worry about feeling like a failure because, although it's easy to feel that way, you'll know that you gave it your best shot, no matter what you decide. * Take courses that might help you figur. 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People sit in lectures talking about the nights outs and parties and student life and even in my final year I'm yet to experience any of that. Answer (1 of 2): Stop worrying about disappointing people. Use your second year to learn about yourself and your study habits, because not only will it help you with your degree, it may also come in handy after graduation. "Submission [to God]") is an Abrahamic monotheistic religion centred primarily around the Quran, a religious text considered by Muslims to be the direct word of God (or Allah) as it was revealed to Muhammad, the main and final Islamic prophet. Thankfully theres alway someone to speak to and i have my best friend to thank for that and i was able to put myself back together. I often got scared of the idea of therapy, as though it were a negative thing. This allows you time to settle in, get used to your course, and make new friends. How long does it take to write a 2500 word essay ? It is something I feel devastated by and I am sorry no-one could see my worth, or very few. Hey guys I just feel so distraught at the moment. I now objectify everything in a bid to keep my dignity intact I have internally taken on these peoples criticisms, thought patterns and discrimination. Stop Feeling Guilty The first thing you must do if you do start to feel unhappy at university is to stop beating yourself up over it. There seems to be a huge variation. I have had doubts of if i can even do the work because lately my grades haven't been very good and i have failed some assignments. This all started back in 2001 and it has taken me this long to accept that it's OK not to have my family in my life. Do get therapy, even just to objectify your thoughts, to hear them aloud and to try and break some of them down with somebody who is external to your life. Went as a 'mature' student. Later, Frankie enrolled in the accounting course at the University of Santo Tomas, while Rudy took the Business management course at the University of East. There is life beyond university. Find me talking honestly about travelling on a budget and trying to live more sustainably. Then in third year, my boyfriend moved back to his hometown and I couldn't live at my uni town alone. I'm quite a shy person anyway, and this left me feeling quite down about having a lack of friends and fun, and I skipped quite a lot of lectures and seminars. Copyright 2022 - Wander with Laura. Second year is a different matter entirely, however, as the work you are undertaking has an impact on your overall degree class. Its nice to hear different people's experiences, as I think that not enjoying university is something that people will not admit to very easily, as it is constantly referred to as a time to have all the fun and best experiences of your life. If you disable this cookie, we will not be able to save your preferences. Mine was great and I lived at home. At uni, you can basically be entirely anonymous should you so wish. This was okay, but as I wasn't living with other students I never saw anyone or went out. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again. Ive learned to cope, and although I dont enjoy uni loads still, I have people in my lectures that I can speak to and get on with. I an acquainted to a few of my ex-flatmates, but i think they think i bore them cause i never once went out with them (come on they usually ask me to go out thursday nights, and i always have assignments due the next day)..i say hi and stuff, but that is about it. The bad news is Im in my 40s now and am giving serious consideration to getting therapy for the first time in my life for what happened to me back in University in the early 90s. Xx Anna. I was put in an isolated part of the University and having never been out failed to socialise well. I don't even think there's a newspaper that I could get involved with lol. I hope things are looking up for you! Good to know that i'm not the only one who feels like this, as so far I haven't found anyone who does. I do not want to waste their money This really worries me :'(, Hi! So many people I knew from college struggling like you but threw the towel in, so good on you for carrying on! I dont enjoy my course anymore. As of also reading this in 2017, it has helped me a little reading this. So, while moving into student accommodation can be scary, be confident in the knowledge that most new students do actually enjoy their first . It doesn't help that it's a tiny university with no societies to meet likeminded people. It doesn't matter if you've played the game for years or never plan to play it ever, feel free to write anything you don't enjoy about it. I kind of understand as if I had flatmates I really got on with I would be the same but I miss him a lot. Here, youll meet like-minded people who you already have one thing in common with and everyone else is there to make friends too. Is it better going to UNI with a friend or just by yourself?? Leaving after 1st year was the best decision I made as it just was not for me. Im sorry to hear that what happened at university is still affecting you. i feel like we didn't really connect because all they were interested in was going out for a drink and "pulling girls" so yeah it was a tad immature imo. I take things week by week and always make plans (I used to like being alone and chilling: a side effect has meant that if I dont have plans for a day, I feel down and scared all over again). I'm definitely not a typical student I don't really enjoy going out these days and I'm a pain in the ass neighbour telling next door to turn their music down constantly haha! You definitely aren't alone, there's so many people out there that have got in touch about how they feel the same wish I'd known it at the time! Have you made many friends? So I moved back home for my third year. All Rights Reserved. I didn't click with anyone in my halls last year and now they are all living together and have forgotten about me. I actually find that inspiring. On tuesday during another lecture, I sat next to this girl by herself, but she seemed painfully shy and really didn't seem to want me to talk to her. I havent clicked with any of my flat mates because theyre all in to different things than me, I do get along with them but were not close so throughout freshers I only saw them for drinking and even that was a bit uncomfortable! Living with people that I have so little in common with has completely crushed my confidence and although Im working to build it back up, I cannot describe how detrimental it has been on my emotional wellbeing. This article was originally published in October 2019 But If it doesnt get any better than what im going through now, Im afraid i shall have to bail and I really dont want to. xxx, I'm currently in my first year of uni and I'm really struggling, I wish I had the option to live at home like you did. I just feel like 2nd year is so hard, I feel way of my comfort level, I don't mind being challenged I like a challenge but this is just beyond that where I am consumed by feeling of inadequacy as I am struggling to do the work. This was a fantastic and helpful post x, It is hard but I know ur strong and u will get over itlove ur post xxx, Laura, I am always very proud of you. I've also recently split up with my (now ex) boyfriend after five years, who was my only friend, really. i started bringing myself down useless, why am i here, do i deserve this. Maybe somebody would say that it is okay not to make friends at uni if you really cant find someone you can relate to, but its will obviously be a waste of money since my parents have paid so much for me to come all the way to here and I really hope that I can make some international friends :(. Starting a relationship at university a good idea? This is quite personal to me and while I don't mind speaking about it, I am aware that there are always going to be people that just can't understand the impact of what's happened. I tried to fix things before it got this bad but it didnt happen because although he claimed he wanted to be friends he refused to talk to me and just pretended i didnt exist and Ive since realised that he knew I liked him and he didnt reciprocate those feelings but would initiate making out every time we were alone together which was taking advantage of me and I dont want people like that in my life. If you can stand to finish the term (assuming your grades aren't completely aweful), that might look better on your futur. I managed to meet a few girls who were doing some of the same modules as me so I wasnt always alone, it also allowed me to go out on socials with girls who had similar interests to me which was a bonus. My self esteem is completely destroyed, and although I am close to getting a degree, I honestly wish I had backed out in first year. You'll earn badges for being active around the site. I just didn't feel like I related to them at all, we'd all go out together and I would feel like going home, locking myself in my room and sobbing. I am in my final year, and have felt like this the entire four years. I think talking to other people who were in my position and getting advice will make my decision easier hopefully! Bring me down your second year and now they are too dumb for uni in Los Angeles the! 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